Ladies, you are Awesome!

You know what hurts? When I see women putting up with bad behavior.

 

Just today I saw a post from a friend who was engaged and happy but recently found out her boyfriend cheated on her.  This is very sad but, in my opinion, if he went outside of the relationship without your permission, he is not worth hanging onto.  You deserve better and he or she is out there for you, waiting.  Don’t go back to someone who can’t commit.  There’s too many of them out there and you deserve someone who respects you.

Sadly, too many women go back to broken men and failing relationships, maybe because we are comfortable in a situation we know or understand or maybe because we fear there’s nothing else for us and we’d rather settle for less than to be “alone”?  But the question remains…  Why do we allow people to treat us badly?

Ladies, let me tell you how beautiful you are. I don’t need to personally know you to let you know that you are Worthwhile and Gorgeous!

Don’t ever let any man or woman treat you as less than you are. Remember, it is your choice to remain in a relationship. We make choices every single day of our lives as to who we welcome into our personal circle and who remains within our inner circle.  If they are not treating you like a queen, should they stay?  Would you be better off without them, have less stress, or be able to live the life you want to live without their judgment?  In every circumstance, do what’s best for you because, in the end, you’re the only one that matters.  I know this might sound selfish but it’s not.  If everyone leaves, you should be able to rely on yourself and be happy with yourself.  If you’re not, change it.  You have to be whole before you can let anyone else in.

Remember this saying (that I absolutely love): You teach people how to treat you.

It’s so true and you deserve the best, always!

Have a wonderful day, my friends, and remember how beautiful you are!

#WritersLIfe    #Writing   #WroteToday

We make a choice every day

Hi Readers,

Do you know that we make choices every day?  These choices not only affect our life and which way we go on our path in life but they also affect our perceptions and, eventually, our health and well-being.  My friend, Michael, explains it like a map of intersecting, interacting choices:  one leads to another and to another and depending on the specific choice made, it opens up other areas and leads on to other decisions to make.  It’s amazing and complex and a little hard to understand but everything we do has a reaction and all our decisions are interwoven into this very large, stringy ball of electrical twine, so to speak, when you see the whole picture.

All of our decisions affect others and these choices thread our life.  Knowing this and being aware of how short life is, does it really make sense to hold onto grudges or to be unhappy, in any way?

I ask this because this morning, a co-worker, who seems to think I harmed her in some way, couldn’t even spend a few seconds in the break room by me while I was getting my second cup of coffee.  This really surprised and perplexed me to the point of writing this blog.  I think sometimes people lose sight of the overall, big picture.  So, you happen to dislike me- okay- but do you need it to affect your 40 hour work week?  As we know, we spend a majority or our lives at our jobs so do we really need to let such trivial matters, perceptions and judgments cloud how we act and react?

I think it’s interesting how this co-worker thinks she’s done nothing wrong to change the nature of our relationship and blames it all on me when she was the one who actually attacked me, twice.  Despite this, I still like who she essentially is- a human being trying to get through this life, like the rest of us.  The fact that I don’t want to work with her has nothing to do with how I feel she is, as a person outside of work, and even though I prefer not to be in the same area as her in the office because I feel she is always judging me, ready to document everything I do for a negative purpose, I was able to spend the few seconds in the break room while she scrambled to get away.  How crazy.

Is it really worth it to get upset over trivial things when the greater cost could be your peace of mind and possibly, eventually, your health?  One thing leads to another and it can be a negative snowball effect heading in the wrong direction for you just because you are upset, and choose to remain upset, at a particular person.  You can’t change them but you can change how you perceive the “injustice” rendered to you and how you react to it.  We’ve heard this before, again and again, but how many of us actually implement this sound advice into our lives?  It’s hard to do, especially when you feel justified in your anger, but for your own peace of mind, it’s best to let it go and move on with a happier outlook.  Getting hung up on trivialities will not help you when the major life circumstances happen, because they will happen.  If you can’t let go of something silly and meaningless, how are you going to deal with real life barriers that are going to force you to change and adapt so you can move forward?

You choose how you live your life.

Let go of grudges, judgments and negativity and choose happiness, instead.  In the end, does it really matter?  Ask yourself this question and most of the time you will find yourself saying “no.”  If it doesn’t matter, Let It Go.  Navigating through life is struggle enough.  Do you really need to add to your burden?  Be happy and be well.  You deserve it!

Live like someone left gate open

 

Rise above the petty

Hi Readers,

 

You know that one person you have at work?  That one that can make your work life miserable?

If you’re a boss or a supervisor, I’m sure you know what I mean.  You try and try to get a good team together, one that works well and in harmony- one that fits neatly into a well-oiled, teambuilding, efficient superpower machine but you have that one cog that does not want to work with the others.  That one piece of the puzzle that doesn’t want to fit in with the group or the team, unless it’s on their own terms or within their own self-determined standards.  That one that would rather take notes about you, documenting every incident, keeping an eye on all your breaks and lunches to find a way to backstab you, the Supervisor, instead of fitting in and relishing in the extra freedoms the Supervisor provides to everyone in the unit.

That one misfit within the company that wants to blame everyone else for their misfortunes instead of seeing that they, themselves, and their own personality tics might be the cause and the reason for their treatment within the unit and their twisted perceptions of their own sad situation.   No one is untouchable or beyond reproach.  Every one of us has something we can adjust in our lives or within our personality so that we can flow within a group of individuals with strikingly different personalities.  No one is correct all the time or perfect but for some reason there is always that one among a group who feels that way.  Who thinks that they are truly amazing, wonderful, a humanitarian but with an ego the size of the Universe.  That one who does their job well but when you get down to the nitty gritty, when you actually see who this person truly is, you find that what they do is not because they truly care about the customers they work for but it’s all for the purpose of covering their own butt and to receive accolades from their customers.

Unfortunately, when you are the Supervisor, you have to deal with this person while avoiding their spiteful, malicious attacks on your character and trying to manage the others within your team, successfully.  It is really hard to do and their nasty attitude can bring you down, especially when you are particularly stressed or having an off day but the one thing you must understand and realize is that this person will never change because they have no insight and that this person is the way they are with everyone (at least they are consistent) so it is not because of you, specifically that they are so rotten.  They would act this way with anyone who is their supervisor.  So, as hard as it is to do sometimes, you have to remind yourself to not take it personally.  This is especially a hard lesson for me:   a sensitive, loving, kind and gentle person who doesn’t understand malicious, manipulative, calculating people.

To this day I still do not understand why someone would choose to put that much effort or energy into, basically, negative endeavors.

I choose to live my life not worrying about negative things that happened in the past, not harboring bitterness or grief, taking one day at a time and one step at a time being as genuine, honest and as fair as I can be with everyone that I come in contact with.  If something perceived as “bad” happens to me then there must be a reason for it or a lesson to learn in it and then I move on.  I will overcome anything that happens and I don’t have to document little grievances (petty things like a co-worker or the Supervisor going over a few minutes in lunches or breaks) over years of my life to save my job.  I don’t get it.  I don’t understand this logic or thinking.  And it’s a waste of energy and effort I can put forth elsewhere into a more positive outcome as in helping others along my path to become independent, self-sufficient and the best people they can be.

All I can come up with is, is that people like this are internally miserable and damaged somehow and they need help but don’t know it.  Sadly, we have to deal with them in our day to day work life.

So, in the meantime, if you have someone like this in your own life, try to keep your chin up and smile because you deserve the best.  Don’t let these petty little people get you down because it’s not worth your time or your energy to spend an extra second worrying about them and when their next sneak attack upon you will be.

In the end, they will never win despite whatever comes of their negative efforts.

** Continue to live your life with integrity, honesty and genuineness and you will have nothing to fear.  Truth and light will always be on your side.  You will always be the victor.  **

Take care my friends and live your life according to your own truth.

Be your own best self!

Woman holding a heart

My Weight Loss Journey, Entry 4

 

“The greatest achievements started small.”  Michael

 

Hi Readers,

 

Well, this week, despite my continued sinus infection and eating less than I have in a very long while, I actually gained a pound!  I was not happy about this because I hardly eat anything throughout my days but I figure it’s just one of several setbacks I will encounter along my journey.

I have had very little energy to do much, including writing and editing my books and have seriously considered giving it all up but just when I thought about not writing anymore and leaving my Guardian League series hanging with only 3 out of the 5 intended books for the series published, my friend Michael steps in and tells me the above quote.  I have had great freedom, coming home from my day job to do whatever I want to do instead of throwing myself online to promote my books, strategizing on how to sell more or chatting with my street team; however, I have to admit, I have felt something missing.  Sadly, with this illness I have had very little extra energy to do much anymore.

However, for some reason, Michael doesn’t want me to quit.  I think it’s because my books fuel my passion and vice-versa and he knows that my books are also an outlet for my passion and creativity.  So, in the meantime while I am considering what to do about my author life and trying to feel better so I can be at my optimum, I am juggling with what to eat on a daily basis.  Maintaining is better than gaining but I have so much more weight to lose that it’s hard not to consider this past week a setback.  However, I am trying to keep a positive outlook on this situation and consider this past week a temporary, not permanent, glitch in my journey.

So, as I start another week on my journey, full of hope, my wish for you is that you, too, achieve great things this week.  Even if you can only spare a few minutes each day, take some time to appreciate the wonderful person you are and do a little something to reward yourself for getting through this challenging life, on a day to day basis.

Take care and have a wonderful week!

 

TK Lawyer

https://www.amazon.com/T.K.-Lawyer/e/B00OXD3CR8

http://www.facebook.com/tklawyerauthor

 

 

My Weight Loss Journey, Entry 3

 

Hi Readers,

Well, I am on to another week and still “sick as a dog” with this sinus infection turned into upper respiratory infection….  Good news is, I have my sense of taste back.  Yeah!  Not so good news is my appetite isn’t… though I think it’s slowly creeping back in.  This last part, though, isn’t so bad after all because I know when my appetite does return, it’ll be harder to control my diet.  For now, I am enjoying the freedom of not being so hungry and, as a result, being able to eat a bit more at my one big meal per day, which is really great!

So far I have lost a total of eighteen pounds.  Yes, 18 people!!  Isn’t that amazing?  I am so proud of myself and what’s even more exciting is that I am able to fit into clothes that I haven’t been able to wear in years.

Yesterday, I pulled out all my thinner clothes and my hoard of dresses from a second closet I have in the house and I tried each one on.  There were so many I didn’t even remember owning, but I now fit into.  And the icing on the cake?  I fit into a smaller size pant than I’m currently wearing.  I can actually zip and button the pant but as I like to feel relaxed and comfortable, I’m going to wait a bit to lose a little more before I actually start wearing these pants on a regular basis.  ~*  But I am almost there and it’s a great feeling!

So, now that I’ve lost some weight, I’ve started buying some tops in the Ladies Department – oh yeah.  Where once I had to walk all the way to the back of the store to find items in the Women’s Department in my size, I can now search through the racks up front for clothing.  Amazing.

** I am only ten pounds away from reaching another milestone in my weight loss journey and I’ve been considering what to do once I hit that goal.  I’d like to do something fun and memorable and right now I am in the process of considering ideas for rewards.  It may be something as simple as a mani/pedi, getting my hair colored some subtle but outrageous color (I would love this) or maybe even tickets to an amusement park.  Not sure yet but I do have a little ways to go before I have to decide what to do.

I realize because of the amount of weight I have to lose to get to my goal that this journey may take up to two years to complete but that’s okay.  I am in it for the long haul and ~ hey, I have to live these two years anyway, right?  So why not live it in a healthy way?  Good health= happiness.  That’s the formula.  I’d rather live every day with choices available to me and living a healthy lifestyle affords you the opportunity to expand your choices.

So, here’s to another week.  May it bless us both with amazing opportunities!

Be well and safe.

weight loss words- bubble

My Weight Loss Journey – Entry #2

Hi Readers,

**  Life has it’s ups and downs.  But how we react to them is our choice.**

I have to say, I was disappointed when I walked into my office today wearing a shirt that was a smaller size than I have been in a long while and no one said anything.

I prepared myself for compliments and possibly questions of “have you lost weight?,” or “are you losing weight?” but not one person said anything and it was a bit surprising.  However, I am not trying to lose weight for the wow factor though at some point someone has to say something when I am walking around one hundred pounds lighter- you would think- but, I digress, the reason why I am losing weight is not to impress others, it’s so that I can be healthy- healthier than I have been in a very long while.

This is my goal and my vision.  I realize that having your best, optimum health is like having a solid bar of gold in your hands.  It is worth that much.  Because when you have your health, you can achieve and accomplish anything you set your mind to.  It opens doors that once were not possible.

This is what I look forward to.

The ability to be lighter on my feet, more flexible, more energetic, and the greater ability to challenge myself to do more.

I realize that you can also make more money when you are healthier because you have the ability to do more.  You have freedom.  You can live a better lifestyle and that brings more joy and happiness to not only you but all the lives you touch along the way.

~ I want this so badly. ~  I want to engage in conversations with no shame, no apologies, and to be my quirky, crazy, fun self without hiding behind layers of fat.

I know this will be a long journey for me but I have started it and I’m not stopping now.  So far I have lost fourteen pounds.  An extra three (thanks to my current sinus infection, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise when it came to my weight loss goal) since my last post but I have approximately ninety-three left to go till my goal weight.  Yes, I am that big.  But I will do it because among other things, I want to see if I can.  Right now, though, I am taking one day at a time and blessing every pound that leaves my body for they have served me well but I don’t need them anymore.

I am happy to note that even though I only lost fourteen pounds, it was enough to drop another shirt size so now I don’t have to shop in the Plus size section anymore, when it comes to tops, I can now sort through the Ladies section.  This is fantastic for me because it’s been a while since I have had the pleasure of choosing clothing from this section.  Unfortunately, my hips, stomach and rear have not followed suit (smile) and it remains in the Women’s Plus section, but that’s okay.  I’ll get there and I’m not in a hurry.  Whatever happens, happens, and it will occur at the best time for me.

My supportive friend Michael offered me advice when I recently disclosed to him my wants and worries about losing weight.  He said “Be relaxed and motivated.”  I know.  Sounds like an oxymoron, right?  However, what he meant was to not worry but stay motivated to change.  Makes sense and, as usual, is good advice, for anyone.

So, lovely readers, I will sign off here on another week and wish you well.  If you are embarking on a weight loss journey of your own or if my blogs have helped motivate you to join me, I’d love to hear from you.

Until next time, be well and safe.

Scale

Empath?

Some people say I’m sweet~  Well, I’m not sure if I am or not but I know, like any other, I’m trying.

I had to counsel a co-worker this afternoon and on my way home I found myself running over, in my mind, all of the things I could’ve said to her but didn’t because I didn’t even think of them…  I wondered what happened to me in this circumstance when at times I surprise myself, hearing amazing, thought-provoking words flowing off my tongue that are likely from a higher source other than me.  However, this time I could kick myself because I didn’t do my best.  I faltered badly in front of someone who needed me though I didn’t do this intentionally.

** The problem is I feel more than I know what to say.  **

The words somehow get stuck or don’t come to mind because I’m feeling for the person, wondering how I can assist them to feel better.  It’s later that I run through all of the sentences and paragraphs of wise knowledge I should’ve imparted to them.  Then I feel inadequate, wonder if I should set up another meeting with them so I can impart all these wise tidbits, maybe even write them on a sheet of paper so I can remember them later when I’m sitting face to face with them again and in “duh” mode.  I also ask myself why did I not think of these things when I was face to face with them and… I have no answer.  I have no idea why but I feel like I did them a disservice and if they had this information maybe they’d be empowered to make better choices.

And the word Empath comes to mind.  A word I’ve Googled countless times but am not sure if it really fits me.  A word that doesn’t seem too empowering and I may not want to be labeled as.  A single word that seems people who fit into this category have been dealt the ‘short straw’ so to speak.  They feel too much and that it’s a bad thing because you have to protect yourself and do some type of rituals to’wash off the energies’ of others, all the time to be safe.  A word that makes me feel like a doormat for others’ problems.

I’ve always considered myself strong and capable.  Able to take on anything and survive.  A Superwoman of sorts.  But this single word Empath doesn’t hold those same traits.

I can only hope that part of what I said to my co-worker made sense and that I got through.  I hope that this beautiful, generous, kind and loving woman who doesn’t see herself in that way anymore and struggles with her own personal experiences realizes what a true treasure she is and that maybe, just maybe, despite my “empathic” ways becomes stronger, more confident and courageous.  Sadly, there aren’t many like her in this world and if there’s anything any of us ’empaths’ can do to help these wonderful souls through this challenging world, it is our duty to assist them to their highest good and greatest potential.  All we can do is try.

 

 

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