We make a choice every day

Hi Readers,

Do you know that we make choices every day?  These choices not only affect our life and which way we go on our path in life but they also affect our perceptions and, eventually, our health and well-being.  My friend, Michael, explains it like a map of intersecting, interacting choices:  one leads to another and to another and depending on the specific choice made, it opens up other areas and leads on to other decisions to make.  It’s amazing and complex and a little hard to understand but everything we do has a reaction and all our decisions are interwoven into this very large, stringy ball of electrical twine, so to speak, when you see the whole picture.

All of our decisions affect others and these choices thread our life.  Knowing this and being aware of how short life is, does it really make sense to hold onto grudges or to be unhappy, in any way?

I ask this because this morning, a co-worker, who seems to think I harmed her in some way, couldn’t even spend a few seconds in the break room by me while I was getting my second cup of coffee.  This really surprised and perplexed me to the point of writing this blog.  I think sometimes people lose sight of the overall, big picture.  So, you happen to dislike me- okay- but do you need it to affect your 40 hour work week?  As we know, we spend a majority or our lives at our jobs so do we really need to let such trivial matters, perceptions and judgments cloud how we act and react?

I think it’s interesting how this co-worker thinks she’s done nothing wrong to change the nature of our relationship and blames it all on me when she was the one who actually attacked me, twice.  Despite this, I still like who she essentially is- a human being trying to get through this life, like the rest of us.  The fact that I don’t want to work with her has nothing to do with how I feel she is, as a person outside of work, and even though I prefer not to be in the same area as her in the office because I feel she is always judging me, ready to document everything I do for a negative purpose, I was able to spend the few seconds in the break room while she scrambled to get away.  How crazy.

Is it really worth it to get upset over trivial things when the greater cost could be your peace of mind and possibly, eventually, your health?  One thing leads to another and it can be a negative snowball effect heading in the wrong direction for you just because you are upset, and choose to remain upset, at a particular person.  You can’t change them but you can change how you perceive the “injustice” rendered to you and how you react to it.  We’ve heard this before, again and again, but how many of us actually implement this sound advice into our lives?  It’s hard to do, especially when you feel justified in your anger, but for your own peace of mind, it’s best to let it go and move on with a happier outlook.  Getting hung up on trivialities will not help you when the major life circumstances happen, because they will happen.  If you can’t let go of something silly and meaningless, how are you going to deal with real life barriers that are going to force you to change and adapt so you can move forward?

You choose how you live your life.

Let go of grudges, judgments and negativity and choose happiness, instead.  In the end, does it really matter?  Ask yourself this question and most of the time you will find yourself saying “no.”  If it doesn’t matter, Let It Go.  Navigating through life is struggle enough.  Do you really need to add to your burden?  Be happy and be well.  You deserve it!

Live like someone left gate open

 

You are Beautiful

This morning, I was at my Doctor’s office for two appointments.  As I finished one up and chatted with the receptionist, I waited a bit for my other to show.  Twenty-five minutes later I was ushered into the Specialist’s office and we had a good talk- upbeat, uplifting with plenty of advice.  She ushered me back to the receptionist desk who said I was cleared to go but then turned to the Specialist and complimented me aloud on my progress.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear the receptionist’s opinion of me.  She said to the specialist, “She’s so cute” stating how my first day in their office I was determined to make a difference and to do something about my situation.  She was proud of me.  I entered the discussion and became lively and animated in the middle of it.  I saw the receptionist turn to the specialist with a nod and a knowing smile.  It made me feel good that my few visits (there’s only been three) to the Doctor’s office made an impression on her.  Until this point I was unaware that she knew who I even was.

It’s funny how our few, brief contacts can make an impact we never knew existed.  Granted, I liked the receptionist and we always laughed together about little things but I didn’t realize she had a high regard for me until today.  For me, I always try to be nice to people who help “serve” me in some capacity.  Whether it be complimenting the person behind the counter for something lovely they are wearing or for how they wore their hair that day to the bigger task of striking up a conversation, I like making people feel better than when I first met them.  I try to do this as much as I can, barring my own mood and time constraints and I do this because I generally like people.  But today was a reminder, not only for me but for all of us, that we make an impact with every contact we make but might not realize it.

** With every person we come in contact with, we can choose to spread joy or unhappiness so why not take a step in making the Earth a happier place and choose to spread love, joy and peace instead of the latter.  **

Those in the service industry or helping professions are often disregarded or taken for granted.  It’s not often they are recognized or even rewarded for the essential service they do, sometimes barely making an income to support themselves or their family.  Take a minute today to make a greater impact and thank someone or compliment them.  Your one generous comment will snowball into several more, adding good cheer to strangers you may never meet.

Sometimes, all it takes is a few loving words to turn someone’s day around for the better.

Take care, my friends.

Thankful

 

Rise above the petty

Hi Readers,

 

You know that one person you have at work?  That one that can make your work life miserable?

If you’re a boss or a supervisor, I’m sure you know what I mean.  You try and try to get a good team together, one that works well and in harmony- one that fits neatly into a well-oiled, teambuilding, efficient superpower machine but you have that one cog that does not want to work with the others.  That one piece of the puzzle that doesn’t want to fit in with the group or the team, unless it’s on their own terms or within their own self-determined standards.  That one that would rather take notes about you, documenting every incident, keeping an eye on all your breaks and lunches to find a way to backstab you, the Supervisor, instead of fitting in and relishing in the extra freedoms the Supervisor provides to everyone in the unit.

That one misfit within the company that wants to blame everyone else for their misfortunes instead of seeing that they, themselves, and their own personality tics might be the cause and the reason for their treatment within the unit and their twisted perceptions of their own sad situation.   No one is untouchable or beyond reproach.  Every one of us has something we can adjust in our lives or within our personality so that we can flow within a group of individuals with strikingly different personalities.  No one is correct all the time or perfect but for some reason there is always that one among a group who feels that way.  Who thinks that they are truly amazing, wonderful, a humanitarian but with an ego the size of the Universe.  That one who does their job well but when you get down to the nitty gritty, when you actually see who this person truly is, you find that what they do is not because they truly care about the customers they work for but it’s all for the purpose of covering their own butt and to receive accolades from their customers.

Unfortunately, when you are the Supervisor, you have to deal with this person while avoiding their spiteful, malicious attacks on your character and trying to manage the others within your team, successfully.  It is really hard to do and their nasty attitude can bring you down, especially when you are particularly stressed or having an off day but the one thing you must understand and realize is that this person will never change because they have no insight and that this person is the way they are with everyone (at least they are consistent) so it is not because of you, specifically that they are so rotten.  They would act this way with anyone who is their supervisor.  So, as hard as it is to do sometimes, you have to remind yourself to not take it personally.  This is especially a hard lesson for me:   a sensitive, loving, kind and gentle person who doesn’t understand malicious, manipulative, calculating people.

To this day I still do not understand why someone would choose to put that much effort or energy into, basically, negative endeavors.

I choose to live my life not worrying about negative things that happened in the past, not harboring bitterness or grief, taking one day at a time and one step at a time being as genuine, honest and as fair as I can be with everyone that I come in contact with.  If something perceived as “bad” happens to me then there must be a reason for it or a lesson to learn in it and then I move on.  I will overcome anything that happens and I don’t have to document little grievances (petty things like a co-worker or the Supervisor going over a few minutes in lunches or breaks) over years of my life to save my job.  I don’t get it.  I don’t understand this logic or thinking.  And it’s a waste of energy and effort I can put forth elsewhere into a more positive outcome as in helping others along my path to become independent, self-sufficient and the best people they can be.

All I can come up with is, is that people like this are internally miserable and damaged somehow and they need help but don’t know it.  Sadly, we have to deal with them in our day to day work life.

So, in the meantime, if you have someone like this in your own life, try to keep your chin up and smile because you deserve the best.  Don’t let these petty little people get you down because it’s not worth your time or your energy to spend an extra second worrying about them and when their next sneak attack upon you will be.

In the end, they will never win despite whatever comes of their negative efforts.

** Continue to live your life with integrity, honesty and genuineness and you will have nothing to fear.  Truth and light will always be on your side.  You will always be the victor.  **

Take care my friends and live your life according to your own truth.

Be your own best self!

Woman holding a heart

Words of Wisdom from the Spiritual Guru

Hi Readers,

 

You may have heard me mention, in the past, about my friend Michael.  Michael is an amazing being and a rare gem.  I’m always at a loss for words to describe who he is and what he means to me.  He has been my champion when I’ve felt the whole world has let me down, my greatest comfort when my mom passed away over one year ago, and my support system through the daily struggles of Author life.

Over the years, he has shared with me such wise words of wisdom that it would be a shame to withhold the great pearls of truth he has entrusted to me.  So today, I’d like to share with you our discussion last night regarding fear and love.

It’s hard for me to do justice to his statements because I feel more what he says than I can put into words but I’ll try, so here goes…

~ We started chatting about the differences between love and fear. ~

He told me fear distances/separates people.  He reminded me to do things with love.  Then I questioned him regarding right and wrong.  If I blindly trust, how do I know if I’m doing things that are right or maybe wrong.  His answer:  Do all things with love as your true intention and you can never do wrong.  If love is the reason for your action then you have nothing to concern yourself with.

Fear is a barrier and often a means to control a person or a situation.  It is not love.  True love places no limits on a person.  Fear does.  Michael is a proponent for love.  He feels that fear incapacitates and boxes people up in little jail cells where they can never reach their potential.

Love opens your heart and your mind to all kinds of possibilities.  Love is freedom.  Love is genuine.  Love is truth.

Thank you Michael for your guidance.  I love you.  xoxo

And to all my wonderful readers out there, all over the world, may you be blessed and love, always.

I am learning to let go

After more than a week of re-playing scenes from a grave injustice, in my brain, I am finally at the stage where I am learning to let go of this situation so that I can move on and be happy again.

It’s amazing to me how people can walk around hurting others and not caring.  No acknowledgment that the situation even occurred, no apologies, but lots of pretending.  This person who hurt me has injured me twice.  The first time she told me to my face that I’m not a good supervisor then ran out of her office crying saying, “This is a horrible place, a horrible place.”  The second time she went above my head to inquire if what I was trying to implement was endorsed by Headquarters.  In a company where each unit’s supervisor should be able to make decisions and implement what is best for their unit, this staff member decided to report what I was trying to do in good faith rather then to come to me and talk about it.  This, after she volunteered to assist with the implementation of my endeavor.  Amazing!  A snake in the grass waiting to attack?  Yes, wholeheartedly yes.  And I didn’t see it coming.  When she could’ve come to me after agreeing with what I stated to tell me she didn’t agree anymore and we could’ve worked it out, instead she went beyond me to do what?  I’m not sure.  Some say she was trying to get me formally written up while others say she was trying to get me into trouble. Well, neither happened and my boss was encouraging and on my side but because of a slight technicality, this staff member got her way and now she walks around the office like nothing ever occurred.

I’ve always felt if you do something, even if it’s negative and especially if you hurt someone as a result of your actions, you should own up to it, go to that person, explain your reasons for doing what you did and if you have to, take the blame because people are precious and relationships with people are even more so.  Why would you burn your bridges when you have to work with the same team members, day after day?  It doesn’t make any sense to me to make enemies of those you rely on for support.  I now know several things about this co-worker I didn’t know before:  she has a big ego (that needs stroking all the time), she doesn’t have my back ever, she has limited insight into her own faults, and she is not a team player though she blames everyone else for not being part of a team.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this world that are exactly like my co-worker.  They portray themselves as funny and kind on the outside, a charlatan of sorts acting a part in a theatrical play with little to no sincerity.  These people are fun in social, group settings but very immature underneath it all.  When they don’t get their way- look out- they spring to attack and sadly, they have no integrity, so they will never own up to what they did.

I believe these types of people are put in our path for us to learn lessons though I still don’t understand why we need to learn lessons.  Maybe one day I will comprehend the bigger picture.  But I do know we would never learn anything if these people didn’t exist.  So, instead of getting angry, letting bitterness and resentment and even confusion over their actions settle in so that we are uncomfortable ever day and robbed of joy, we need to let go and forgive.  I was reminded of this fact this morning when my friend and guru Michael chatted with me.  I have undergone such tension this past week wondering the reason why this staff member would feel the need to attack me when I try to be a loving, kind, flexible Supervisor.  There was no need for her to take her ‘complaint’ beyond me and I still don’t understand her reasoning.  But it’s not for me to understand.  The deed is done.  Nothing bad happened to me and I need to move forward and let go.  Michael reminds me if your actions stem from a source of kindness, love, generosity- if you have good intentions, no bad will ever come from it.  You may have a temporary low period but positive always bring positive.

It is time to “Enter Love” as Michael puts it.  To be well and happy again because even though I don’t have the support of this staff member, I do have the support of so many more, including my wonderful friends and family.  When you are slighted, take yourself out of the narrowed viewpoint and remind yourself of all that you truly have.  You are blessed and you have wondrous support though you may not see it at the time because your emotions are bogging you down.

You deserve happiness.  Don’t let someone’s ill-advised, mean-spirited actions rob you of the joy of living.  We are only here a short time so make the most of each day with those who love and support you because you deserve the best!  Forgive, because you refuse to wallow in misery trying to understand the intention of why someone hurt you.  It’s not worth your time and energy and you have better, happier things to concentrate on.

I wish you many blessings and happiness always!  ***

love-carved-in-leaf-on-beach

Empath?

Some people say I’m sweet~  Well, I’m not sure if I am or not but I know, like any other, I’m trying.

I had to counsel a co-worker this afternoon and on my way home I found myself running over, in my mind, all of the things I could’ve said to her but didn’t because I didn’t even think of them…  I wondered what happened to me in this circumstance when at times I surprise myself, hearing amazing, thought-provoking words flowing off my tongue that are likely from a higher source other than me.  However, this time I could kick myself because I didn’t do my best.  I faltered badly in front of someone who needed me though I didn’t do this intentionally.

** The problem is I feel more than I know what to say.  **

The words somehow get stuck or don’t come to mind because I’m feeling for the person, wondering how I can assist them to feel better.  It’s later that I run through all of the sentences and paragraphs of wise knowledge I should’ve imparted to them.  Then I feel inadequate, wonder if I should set up another meeting with them so I can impart all these wise tidbits, maybe even write them on a sheet of paper so I can remember them later when I’m sitting face to face with them again and in “duh” mode.  I also ask myself why did I not think of these things when I was face to face with them and… I have no answer.  I have no idea why but I feel like I did them a disservice and if they had this information maybe they’d be empowered to make better choices.

And the word Empath comes to mind.  A word I’ve Googled countless times but am not sure if it really fits me.  A word that doesn’t seem too empowering and I may not want to be labeled as.  A single word that seems people who fit into this category have been dealt the ‘short straw’ so to speak.  They feel too much and that it’s a bad thing because you have to protect yourself and do some type of rituals to’wash off the energies’ of others, all the time to be safe.  A word that makes me feel like a doormat for others’ problems.

I’ve always considered myself strong and capable.  Able to take on anything and survive.  A Superwoman of sorts.  But this single word Empath doesn’t hold those same traits.

I can only hope that part of what I said to my co-worker made sense and that I got through.  I hope that this beautiful, generous, kind and loving woman who doesn’t see herself in that way anymore and struggles with her own personal experiences realizes what a true treasure she is and that maybe, just maybe, despite my “empathic” ways becomes stronger, more confident and courageous.  Sadly, there aren’t many like her in this world and if there’s anything any of us ’empaths’ can do to help these wonderful souls through this challenging world, it is our duty to assist them to their highest good and greatest potential.  All we can do is try.