A Daydream of Paradise

paradise-beach-hd-desktop-wallpaper-08916

 

Sometimes, when we are striving to reach our goals, we forget how very much we have in our lives. We start taking them for granted, feeling we don’t have enough because we want so much more. As an author, we might even compare ourselves with others, colleagues who have hit the big leagues, have titles we covet like “best-selling author”, a book that is a best seller or a book that is in the top 100’s when ours are teetering in the millions.

I want so much more in life and even more with my book business but it seems the struggle continues. I try and try but success seems so far away and I wonder if I will ever obtain it. The more I try, the more success seems to be out of my grasp, not even close enough to slip through my fingers. I don’t want to envy writers with fancy titles but I do sometimes and I wish I knew the secret to own one of those glorious titles because I have no idea how they became successful when I am still here, struggling and trying to remain positive among a sea of unknowns.

So in light of my own personal struggles with: juggling my caretaker responsibilities, my full-time day job that has lost its luster and passion for me, and my book business that most days seems to harbor on the back-burner anymore, I somehow lost sight of all the wonderful stuff and people I do have in my life and I was reminded about this fact, last night.

While staring up at the beautiful lights and ornaments of my Christmas tree, my special friend Michael reminded me to appreciate all that I have. He has been asking me to open my heart, which I did not know was in bad need of damage repair. Instead of love, anxiety and fear crept in. They have riddled my days, for quite a long while now, and I did not know. I didn’t realize, in this season of light and love, how far removed I was.

I am one that advises and encourage others any chance I can get. I help my fellow authors and author friends anytime I can and I work tirelessly to uplift others, even if it means spending hours messaging or talking with a friend so that they can feel better after our conversation. However, have I taken my own advice? Well… no. I encourage and cheer others but I haven’t done the same for myself. The problem is I expect so much out of life and out of myself and I want it Now. And because I haven’t received it and I see others successful when I am failing to achieve my goals, I have essentially forgotten to take care of myself.

I learned so many things yesterday but what I didn’t realize was that we can get caught up in our wants and desires and neglect ourselves in the process- and not even know it.

We need to take care of ourselves first because if we are not in the right frame of mind, we will accomplish nothing.

This is a reminder to look at your own lives and discover all that you have. I have seen several with no home when I have a comfortable one, begging for food when I am not lacking. I have an amazing dog and am fortunate enough to have found my life partner who is also my best friend. These are only a few of the many blessings that I, personally, have and I know you have a list too. During this upcoming New Year, write your list down and reflect upon it, knowing you are starting the New Year on a very good note. And may you receive many more blessing throughout 2018!

Christmas Memories

Hi Readers,

Do you have a favorite Christmas memory?

I posed this question to my Street Team earlier tonight.

I absolutely love Christmas and I shared with my group one of my favorite memories from when I was a kid but there are so many more like the time when my mom and I went Christmas Caroling through a volunteer group at our church.  It was wonderful.  There was nothing professional or organized about it.  Just a group of kind volunteers who wanted to spread Christmas cheer.  We followed each other, driving our individual cars to several homes and even to a local shelter to sing our hearts out.  Whether we were out of tune or not, no one cared and the smiles we received for our efforts lit up each home, each facility.

My best memory of that beautiful day was the last home we headed to.  It belonged to a man who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease.  I remember entering his bedroom and seeing him lying in bed.  We waited as the nurse propped him up on his pillow and he watched us, all huddled in one corner of the room.  It was the first time I had ever met anyone with a debilitating disease and I was humbled by the experience.  After we sung several songs, so out of tune and uncoordinated the angels must’ve blushed, the nurse looked over at us in the silence and said he was smiling.  It almost brings tears to my eyes, once again, while I am writing this.  He has since passed but I truly hope we were able to bring a little bit of peace, a little bit of joy in his life amidst his final battle.

My mom and I tried to volunteer the following year and hoped for the same enjoyment but sadly, the church replaced the random acts of kindness from good people wanting to sing Christmas carols with the professional church choir and it was not the same.

However, I hold this memory of that special day and that precious man in my heart and that is the spirit of Christmas.  Of giving, of loving, and of spreading joy and comfort to those around us.

I truly hope you are surrounded by such love and joy and miracles, too, for each one of you deserves a lifetime of happiness.  This is what I wish for you.  Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, my friends.  Be safe and enjoy the rest of the year.

My-favorite-Christmas-memory

These are my favorite things…

Happy-Holidays-snowmanHi Readers,

The Holidays.  Just saying that, how does it make you feel?  Stressed?  Joyful?  Maybe a little of both or in between?  For me, I am sad the Holidays are almost over.  It is frightful to know we are on the last day of November when Halloween seemed to occur just yesterday!  However, I am determined to make the best of the rest of the year and I hope you are too.  These are a few of my favorite things at this time of year.

  1.  No more excuses.  Time to spend with the family and days off too.  Don’t you love it?  Not only do you get days off to spend time with family and friends but you get paid for the days too.  Now if you work in retail or other types of businesses where you have to work the holidays, I apologize because this can be a bummer.  I have a co-worker who worked in retail last year and was scheduled to work on Thanksgiving (for black Friday sales).  She will never forget how sad she felt having to work when her family was enjoying time together around the dinner table with relatives she hadn’t seen in quite a long while.
  2. Lot of sales!  I looove shopping throughout the year but items can add up and get expensive real quick.  However, at this time of year just about everything you can think of is on sale at some point.  You just have to watch the ads or check out the stores to catch them.
  3. Bright, twinkly lights.  Who doesn’t love beautiful lights?  Especially when you don’t have to pay for the electricity.  I love driving around with my hubby viewing beautiful displays of animated snowmen, merry Santa Clauses and cute reindeer.  It’s fun and it’s free.  What’s not to love?
  4. A different feeling in the air.  People are generally happier.  They open doors for you and are a bit kinder than they might’ve been the rest of the year.  Sometimes you might even receive a surprise like your favorite beverage paid for before your car hits the drive through window.
  5. An excuse to eat sweets with less guilt.  Yes, I have a sweet tooth.  In fact, I think I might have two or three instead of one.  Hahaha.  This time of year, you can feel a bit less guilty indulging in your favorite dishes though that’s not an excuse to gorge and overdo it!  But your doctor’s Rx is more lenient at this time and he says “treat yourself because you are special.”  You deserve it.  (wink)

These are just a few of the lovely things I enjoy this time of year.  What are yours?

I sincerely wish you Happy Holidays!  May they be merry and bright and filled with much love and laughter.  Till our next chat, take care and be safe throughout this holiday season!

 

Hello

Thank you for being AwesomeHi beautiful people!

 

I am just checking in to say “Hello.”  Not for any other reason but to wish you a Happy Day!

 

Coping in different ways

Tonight I learned that everyone grieves differently.  I probably already knew this but when faced with a short discussion with my dad I realized he and I deal with my mom’s death differently.

My husband and I have had lengthy conversations about what will happen if he passes away before me (hopefully this doesn’t happen).  He knows that I will be “getting rid of all his stuff” immediately, giving it away to charity or something.  I let him know this is not because I don’t love him or that I’m trying to get rid of him.  Oh no.  I love him so much.  But this is how I handle grief.

My mom passed away a little over two years ago though it seems like an eternity to me.  She understood me like no other ever has.  She was my best friend, my biggest fan and my strongest confidante.  She was my rock and I miss her dearly.   And how do I deal with her death?  By ignoring it.  Yup.  That is the only way I stay sane and that is the only way I can go on and survive living while she is up in heaven having fun without me.  I try not to think of her because thinking of her only brings tears and misery and I can’t go to work, on a daily basis, to help people if I am a mess myself.  So, this is my way to deal with the immense sadness of her loss in my life.  One day, hopefully, I will be able to think of her and not tear up but until then, this is the way I cope.  However; this is not the same for my dad~

My dad, who desperately needs to move into a first floor apartment because of his declining health, said to me today, that he can’t move into a smaller place because that would mean he would have to get rid of things and he can’t give up my mom’s stuff.  He said that and then he cried.  You see, my dad never cries because he doesn’t believe in a man crying.  While me, I feel differently.  I think if you have an emotion, let it out.  If you have to cry, do it.  It’s natural and it’s human and you can’t keep these things bottled up or they’ll just resurface again, and again.  He believes in prescriptions to pacify his inner turmoil while I believe prescriptions will only mask the inner pain- much like a band aid covering something temporarily.  In the end it peels off with time and the pain is still there.

But I understand where my dad is coming from and I told him this.  I am only trying to do what best for him but I get it.  In the end, it’s his decision the way he wants to live his life.  He chooses to live his life surrounded by objects my mom loved because it keeps her alive.  Storing these items away would only sadden him and the last thing I want to do is add more pain to his overflowing cup.

So, I guess the lesson is to love everyone while they are here.  Life is so short.  Appreciate those close to you for you never know what tomorrow might bring.  And, to try to understand when people do things differently than you would in the event of one’s passing.  Some create items to remind them of their loved ones, some need to have stuff owned by their loved ones around them while others, like me, can’t have the constant reminders surrounding them.  Everyone grieves differently but in the end, we are all trying to do the same thing:  survive this life to get to the other.

Ladies, you are Awesome!

You know what hurts? When I see women putting up with bad behavior.

 

Just today I saw a post from a friend who was engaged and happy but recently found out her boyfriend cheated on her.  This is very sad but, in my opinion, if he went outside of the relationship without your permission, he is not worth hanging onto.  You deserve better and he or she is out there for you, waiting.  Don’t go back to someone who can’t commit.  There’s too many of them out there and you deserve someone who respects you.

Sadly, too many women go back to broken men and failing relationships, maybe because we are comfortable in a situation we know or understand or maybe because we fear there’s nothing else for us and we’d rather settle for less than to be “alone”?  But the question remains…  Why do we allow people to treat us badly?

Ladies, let me tell you how beautiful you are. I don’t need to personally know you to let you know that you are Worthwhile and Gorgeous!

Don’t ever let any man or woman treat you as less than you are. Remember, it is your choice to remain in a relationship. We make choices every single day of our lives as to who we welcome into our personal circle and who remains within our inner circle.  If they are not treating you like a queen, should they stay?  Would you be better off without them, have less stress, or be able to live the life you want to live without their judgment?  In every circumstance, do what’s best for you because, in the end, you’re the only one that matters.  I know this might sound selfish but it’s not.  If everyone leaves, you should be able to rely on yourself and be happy with yourself.  If you’re not, change it.  You have to be whole before you can let anyone else in.

Remember this saying (that I absolutely love): You teach people how to treat you.

It’s so true and you deserve the best, always!

Have a wonderful day, my friends, and remember how beautiful you are!

#WritersLIfe    #Writing   #WroteToday

Chocolate? Think twice

Have you ever wanted to scream and shout?

Me?

Yes.

Quite frequently nowadays.

As a part-time caregiver on top of all my other duties:  full-time day job, part-time book business/marketer/promoter, wife and dog mom, there are days I just want to vent my frustration over the decisions my dad makes.  You see, he fell yesterday in his home and today he was supposed to see a Physical Therapist but he doesn’t want to.  He stated to me, by phone, that if this shortens his life, so be it.  That he will live a happier albeit shorter life, then.  Wow.  Talk about selfish.  But there’s nothing I can do about it because it’s his life, not mine and his decisions are his decisions…but do you have to tell me this 2 years after my mom passed away?  Granted, he’s said worse to me in the past two years- words even my husband remembers and wishes my dad didn’t speak.  No one should ever hear from a parent or relative that “all bets are off if I go to a nursing home.”  This on top of my additional duties at work is what I put up with on a week to week basis.

And my dad and I were never close~ but here I am, taking care of him because mom is not here anymore to do so.

Upon coming home, I think about writing him into my current book and I wonder what the Angel would say to the female protagonist when she talks about her dad.  I think about this for a while, discussing my latest idea with my friend Michael, throwing in that maybe she’s like me and gaining weight rapidly with all the stress that befell her, suddenly, all at once when my friend Michael says to me:

“No amount of chocolate will amend your dad’s situation.”

Startled, I stopped in my tracks and thought about what he said to me; then I nodded my head.  As usual, he’s right.

I am eating chocolate every day and steadily gaining weight when at one point I was actually eating healthier and losing weight.   With all the craziness and impossible demands I’m juggling now, topped off with the added stress of my dad’s failing health, I find myself dipping into the candy jar a lot more often than I should.  However; Michael’s right.  Eating chocolate will not help or change my dad’s situation but, eventually, it will change mine.  No amount of stress eating will help my dad and it won’t help me either.  I have to find another way to deal with the situation I have been handed.  What is the best solution for me?  I don’t know but I am willing to find out.

Take care my friends and thanks for reading.  Enjoy your day!

#Michael  #TKLawyer  #MyOwnThoughts  #TKLawyerThoughts

Previous Older Entries