We make a choice every day

Hi Readers,

Do you know that we make choices every day?  These choices not only affect our life and which way we go on our path in life but they also affect our perceptions and, eventually, our health and well-being.  My friend, Michael, explains it like a map of intersecting, interacting choices:  one leads to another and to another and depending on the specific choice made, it opens up other areas and leads on to other decisions to make.  It’s amazing and complex and a little hard to understand but everything we do has a reaction and all our decisions are interwoven into this very large, stringy ball of electrical twine, so to speak, when you see the whole picture.

All of our decisions affect others and these choices thread our life.  Knowing this and being aware of how short life is, does it really make sense to hold onto grudges or to be unhappy, in any way?

I ask this because this morning, a co-worker, who seems to think I harmed her in some way, couldn’t even spend a few seconds in the break room by me while I was getting my second cup of coffee.  This really surprised and perplexed me to the point of writing this blog.  I think sometimes people lose sight of the overall, big picture.  So, you happen to dislike me- okay- but do you need it to affect your 40 hour work week?  As we know, we spend a majority or our lives at our jobs so do we really need to let such trivial matters, perceptions and judgments cloud how we act and react?

I think it’s interesting how this co-worker thinks she’s done nothing wrong to change the nature of our relationship and blames it all on me when she was the one who actually attacked me, twice.  Despite this, I still like who she essentially is- a human being trying to get through this life, like the rest of us.  The fact that I don’t want to work with her has nothing to do with how I feel she is, as a person outside of work, and even though I prefer not to be in the same area as her in the office because I feel she is always judging me, ready to document everything I do for a negative purpose, I was able to spend the few seconds in the break room while she scrambled to get away.  How crazy.

Is it really worth it to get upset over trivial things when the greater cost could be your peace of mind and possibly, eventually, your health?  One thing leads to another and it can be a negative snowball effect heading in the wrong direction for you just because you are upset, and choose to remain upset, at a particular person.  You can’t change them but you can change how you perceive the “injustice” rendered to you and how you react to it.  We’ve heard this before, again and again, but how many of us actually implement this sound advice into our lives?  It’s hard to do, especially when you feel justified in your anger, but for your own peace of mind, it’s best to let it go and move on with a happier outlook.  Getting hung up on trivialities will not help you when the major life circumstances happen, because they will happen.  If you can’t let go of something silly and meaningless, how are you going to deal with real life barriers that are going to force you to change and adapt so you can move forward?

You choose how you live your life.

Let go of grudges, judgments and negativity and choose happiness, instead.  In the end, does it really matter?  Ask yourself this question and most of the time you will find yourself saying “no.”  If it doesn’t matter, Let It Go.  Navigating through life is struggle enough.  Do you really need to add to your burden?  Be happy and be well.  You deserve it!

Live like someone left gate open

 

My Weight Loss Journey, Entry 4

 

“The greatest achievements started small.”  Michael

 

Hi Readers,

 

Well, this week, despite my continued sinus infection and eating less than I have in a very long while, I actually gained a pound!  I was not happy about this because I hardly eat anything throughout my days but I figure it’s just one of several setbacks I will encounter along my journey.

I have had very little energy to do much, including writing and editing my books and have seriously considered giving it all up but just when I thought about not writing anymore and leaving my Guardian League series hanging with only 3 out of the 5 intended books for the series published, my friend Michael steps in and tells me the above quote.  I have had great freedom, coming home from my day job to do whatever I want to do instead of throwing myself online to promote my books, strategizing on how to sell more or chatting with my street team; however, I have to admit, I have felt something missing.  Sadly, with this illness I have had very little extra energy to do much anymore.

However, for some reason, Michael doesn’t want me to quit.  I think it’s because my books fuel my passion and vice-versa and he knows that my books are also an outlet for my passion and creativity.  So, in the meantime while I am considering what to do about my author life and trying to feel better so I can be at my optimum, I am juggling with what to eat on a daily basis.  Maintaining is better than gaining but I have so much more weight to lose that it’s hard not to consider this past week a setback.  However, I am trying to keep a positive outlook on this situation and consider this past week a temporary, not permanent, glitch in my journey.

So, as I start another week on my journey, full of hope, my wish for you is that you, too, achieve great things this week.  Even if you can only spare a few minutes each day, take some time to appreciate the wonderful person you are and do a little something to reward yourself for getting through this challenging life, on a day to day basis.

Take care and have a wonderful week!

 

TK Lawyer

https://www.amazon.com/T.K.-Lawyer/e/B00OXD3CR8

http://www.facebook.com/tklawyerauthor

 

 

My Weight Loss Journey, Entry 3

 

Hi Readers,

Well, I am on to another week and still “sick as a dog” with this sinus infection turned into upper respiratory infection….  Good news is, I have my sense of taste back.  Yeah!  Not so good news is my appetite isn’t… though I think it’s slowly creeping back in.  This last part, though, isn’t so bad after all because I know when my appetite does return, it’ll be harder to control my diet.  For now, I am enjoying the freedom of not being so hungry and, as a result, being able to eat a bit more at my one big meal per day, which is really great!

So far I have lost a total of eighteen pounds.  Yes, 18 people!!  Isn’t that amazing?  I am so proud of myself and what’s even more exciting is that I am able to fit into clothes that I haven’t been able to wear in years.

Yesterday, I pulled out all my thinner clothes and my hoard of dresses from a second closet I have in the house and I tried each one on.  There were so many I didn’t even remember owning, but I now fit into.  And the icing on the cake?  I fit into a smaller size pant than I’m currently wearing.  I can actually zip and button the pant but as I like to feel relaxed and comfortable, I’m going to wait a bit to lose a little more before I actually start wearing these pants on a regular basis.  ~*  But I am almost there and it’s a great feeling!

So, now that I’ve lost some weight, I’ve started buying some tops in the Ladies Department – oh yeah.  Where once I had to walk all the way to the back of the store to find items in the Women’s Department in my size, I can now search through the racks up front for clothing.  Amazing.

** I am only ten pounds away from reaching another milestone in my weight loss journey and I’ve been considering what to do once I hit that goal.  I’d like to do something fun and memorable and right now I am in the process of considering ideas for rewards.  It may be something as simple as a mani/pedi, getting my hair colored some subtle but outrageous color (I would love this) or maybe even tickets to an amusement park.  Not sure yet but I do have a little ways to go before I have to decide what to do.

I realize because of the amount of weight I have to lose to get to my goal that this journey may take up to two years to complete but that’s okay.  I am in it for the long haul and ~ hey, I have to live these two years anyway, right?  So why not live it in a healthy way?  Good health= happiness.  That’s the formula.  I’d rather live every day with choices available to me and living a healthy lifestyle affords you the opportunity to expand your choices.

So, here’s to another week.  May it bless us both with amazing opportunities!

Be well and safe.

weight loss words- bubble

My Weight Loss Journey – Entry #2

Hi Readers,

**  Life has it’s ups and downs.  But how we react to them is our choice.**

I have to say, I was disappointed when I walked into my office today wearing a shirt that was a smaller size than I have been in a long while and no one said anything.

I prepared myself for compliments and possibly questions of “have you lost weight?,” or “are you losing weight?” but not one person said anything and it was a bit surprising.  However, I am not trying to lose weight for the wow factor though at some point someone has to say something when I am walking around one hundred pounds lighter- you would think- but, I digress, the reason why I am losing weight is not to impress others, it’s so that I can be healthy- healthier than I have been in a very long while.

This is my goal and my vision.  I realize that having your best, optimum health is like having a solid bar of gold in your hands.  It is worth that much.  Because when you have your health, you can achieve and accomplish anything you set your mind to.  It opens doors that once were not possible.

This is what I look forward to.

The ability to be lighter on my feet, more flexible, more energetic, and the greater ability to challenge myself to do more.

I realize that you can also make more money when you are healthier because you have the ability to do more.  You have freedom.  You can live a better lifestyle and that brings more joy and happiness to not only you but all the lives you touch along the way.

~ I want this so badly. ~  I want to engage in conversations with no shame, no apologies, and to be my quirky, crazy, fun self without hiding behind layers of fat.

I know this will be a long journey for me but I have started it and I’m not stopping now.  So far I have lost fourteen pounds.  An extra three (thanks to my current sinus infection, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise when it came to my weight loss goal) since my last post but I have approximately ninety-three left to go till my goal weight.  Yes, I am that big.  But I will do it because among other things, I want to see if I can.  Right now, though, I am taking one day at a time and blessing every pound that leaves my body for they have served me well but I don’t need them anymore.

I am happy to note that even though I only lost fourteen pounds, it was enough to drop another shirt size so now I don’t have to shop in the Plus size section anymore, when it comes to tops, I can now sort through the Ladies section.  This is fantastic for me because it’s been a while since I have had the pleasure of choosing clothing from this section.  Unfortunately, my hips, stomach and rear have not followed suit (smile) and it remains in the Women’s Plus section, but that’s okay.  I’ll get there and I’m not in a hurry.  Whatever happens, happens, and it will occur at the best time for me.

My supportive friend Michael offered me advice when I recently disclosed to him my wants and worries about losing weight.  He said “Be relaxed and motivated.”  I know.  Sounds like an oxymoron, right?  However, what he meant was to not worry but stay motivated to change.  Makes sense and, as usual, is good advice, for anyone.

So, lovely readers, I will sign off here on another week and wish you well.  If you are embarking on a weight loss journey of your own or if my blogs have helped motivate you to join me, I’d love to hear from you.

Until next time, be well and safe.

Scale

My Weight Loss Journey

 

I started my journey on December 31, 2016.  I have started and stopped diets throughout my life and have always had a weight problem.  But when my Family Practitioner told me he couldn’t serve me anymore because my A1C was very high and he advised I see an Endocrinologist, the news really affected me.

Yes, I am diabetic.  I don’t share this with many.  In fact, I really don’t like sharing it because it’s embarrassing to me that at my age I already have Type 2 Diabetes and have had it for more than 10 years.  Diabetes is not something I am proud of, is never something I wanted and in fact when I was diagnosed with Pre-Diabetes, instead of trying to eat better and do anything to get myself out of the Pre-Diabetic range I did the opposite, got very angry about my diagnosis and gave it the middle finger.  I was not serious about changing and I could have cared less because no label was going to define me.  Sadly, family physicians treat you differently when you are diabetic.  If you have high blood pressure, you are treated as any normal human being but once you are diabetic they become wary, have a hands off approach and are unwilling to serve you anymore until you “get on track.”

So, my first day at the Endocrinologist on December 28, 2016, I was really surprised to look about the waiting room and find I was the youngest person there.  It was shameful that I was there to begin with when most everyone was elderly.  There was no reason a young person like me should be in a Specialist’s office and the fact that I let myself go after my mom who was my best friend passed away in July 2015 really came to light.  When my mom, the joy to my life, decided she didn’t want to be here anymore, it really affected me more than I thought it ever would.  I am a very spiritual person and I knew she was okay, happier than me who was left behind on Earth still suffering her loss but the fact that I could not see her, hug her or even hear her voice anymore really devastated me.  I tried to be strong for my dad, who was also left behind, but I didn’t care much anymore about me, about my weight, about my health and with my dad’s failing health, I now took on the work of three jobs (including taking care of my dad by buying him groceries, checking his mail, washing his dishes, collecting his garbage).  My dad’s list of chores piled on as his depression took affect and he went from using a cane to using a walker full time.  I still have the juggle of three jobs to this day but my visit to the Endocrinologist on December 28th literally changed my life.

On December 28th, the first thing my Endocrinologist asked me was why I thought my A1C was out of control.  Well, that did it.  I broke down into tears and I talked to him about my mom’s passing.  I felt miserable inside, ashamed that I was telling a total stranger my deepest feelings that I kept hidden from everyone else except my husband, and I was in total deep depression and didn’t know it.  He sympathized with me and we had a good conversation.  He recommended I see a Therapist and buy a book to help me heal in the meantime.  I left the office and processed all he told me and decided to do things my way.  I didn’t need a therapist, I just needed to make a change and I’d take one day at a time, one step at a time.

So, the next day I started eating foods that were as minimally processed as I could.  I actually started cooking,  something I abhorred and associate with female slavery.  I have very different ideas of cooking than most I know.  My dad was the one who cooked in our household and my husband is the one who does the cooking in my family.  I do not like cooking, never have and don’t think I ever will.  The idea of cooking for hours for a man is not my idea of fun.  However, if I was going to make a difference, baking had to become second nature to me so I decided to do what I needed to do for my health.

And now, not quite but almost three months later, though it has been slow going and frustrating at times and I have had to adjust my diet several times over the past few months, I have lost a total of eleven pounds.  I am now one pound away from the weight I was before my mom passed away.  When my mom passed away, I packed on weight like there was no tomorrow, eating when I was full to cover the deep recesses of pain inside me and I realize this was all out of grief but I am done with this weight and I am done with this lifestyle.  I am going to continue this journey as much as I can, taking each day at a time.  I still miss my mom, very much so, but I find when I eat better I generally feel better and this has helped a lot with lightening the heavy depression and loss I felt for more than a year.

I thank you for taking the time to read my first entry into this journal and ** I invite you to follow me on my journey as I continue to change my life. **   Have a Happy Day!

For when someone harms you with their words-

Tonight I suffered a set back.  My dad made a comment that ended up being more hurtful than he likely intended.  You see, I’ve lost two wonderful souls in my life recently and one was my mom.  So when my dad said he would probably only live three more years because he couldn’t see living any longer, I broke down into tears after we ended our conversation.  Telling me he was going to pass away when my mom only passed away a little over 2 months ago and I lost my precious companion dog a month ago was pretty insensitive.

I’m sure he didn’t mean it to come out the way he said it but regardless the pain from his stinging comment remains.

It helped that I had three friends to bounce the situation off of.  So when you are in a situation like this where someone tells you something devastating, first thing, don’t blame yourself.  That’s what I was trying to do- trying to find out what else I could’ve done differently where he wouldn’t say such callous words to me.  But there’s nothing I could’ve done differently.  I try to do the best that I can and be as supportive as possible.  Unfortunately, there’s no way to expect the same from others, even from your relatives.  Each person makes their own choices as to how to behave and just because you give doesn’t mean you will receive.  Just give with a loving, open heart and don’t expect anything in return.  One day you will receive back the kindness you sent forth and it will come to you in the way you need at the right time.

Vent out to a close friend or two or three.  When my dad said he was grieving, I thought I am too!  Maybe he forgot because he can’t see past his own grief or maybe he doesn’t see it because I try to be strong and positive when I’m around him.  Either way words can hurt and you may not even see or know the effect of your own words, as my dad will never know the pain he caused me.

Try to see the situation from different angles.  Because I’m worried about my dad’s health, I’ve been trying to help him with finding a single story home to rent but from his words today, stating that he’s comfortable with where he’s at, I can see that what I think is best for him is not what he considers best.  This is a good reminder that sometimes our meddling for someone’s own good, according to my friend Michael, is not always for their own good.  Let the other person make their own decisions- advise but don’t push, no matter how bad a situation gets.

Of course his telling me he would have to consider moving when he can’t walk up the stairs anymore or he falls down the stairs didn’t help either.  The idea of him falling down the stairs is what I wanted to prevent but again, like my advice in the last paragraph states- I shouldn’t impose my ideas of what’s good on someone else because they may not be good for them.  So, lastly, forgive the person whose words cut you like a knife for it is not worth your pain or even your energy to hold in you anything negative that may affect you later on in undesirable ways (health, mood, etc).  Don’t dwell on it any longer, let it go and if there’s a lesson to it, take that with you so that next time you are prepared in case the situation repeats itself.

Take care, my friends and be well.

Please- stop that now. Be kind to yourself.

I have a friend who hates having pictures taken.  She thinks she looks horrible in pictures yet there are countless cute ones of her.  She’s always complaining about the circles under her eyes but I don’t see them.  Instead, I see a beautiful woman who is harsh on herself and it makes me think about how women in general feel this way and how hard we are on ourselves.

We are hardest on ourselves but mercilessly so.  What are we trying to achieve by badgering ourselves?  Definitely not confidence or higher self esteem.  And there’s nothing positive about wielding critical words at us.  As women, we should be doing the exact opposite- patting ourselves on the back for just being alive.  For getting through this world of adversity and challenges and not letting the world get to us- that in itself deserves applause.  And as women, we should get even more kudos for we are the nurturers of the world, the ones who take care of others before we even consider ourselves.  I hear all the time, while taking care of my mom in her nursing home, how “A son is a son until he gains a wife, a daughter is a daughter for life.”  Being critical of ourselves and calling ourselves names should be removed from our psyche, permanently.  We have no right to hurt ourselves this way.  We are good people no matter what we’ve done in life.  Life is hard enough without chastising ourselves.

Remember all the good things you do on a daily basis and celebrate you for you are a great woman!  There is no one else like you.  You are unique and beautiful just the way you are.  Be kind to yourself, be good to you, if only for just one day.  Pamper yourself and reward you for being so marvelous and you will find that in being kind to yourself it naturally passes on to others, one person at a time.  It’s a chain reaction and it all starts with you.

It doesn’t have to be your birthday or even a holiday.  Do something wonderful for yourself today – just because you are you- a truly special human being that deserves the best in life.  Take care my friends.

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