Top Ten List

Okay lovely people,

Here’s a list of the ones that made the cut.  The top ten things writers with full time jobs would rather be doing:

  1. Writing
  2. Finishing a book
  3. Publishing a book
  4. Chatting with adoring fans (who doesn’t want to hear how wonderful their books are)
  5. Attending book events as a featured author (these are sooo much fun!)
  6. Land a contract with a BIG Publisher
  7. Signing their books at an author event (of course, with wonderful, adoring fans)
  8. Earning big bucks for their published works
  9. Signing a movie contract for one of their books
  10. More writing

So there you have it!  Writers with full time jobs would rather do pretty much anything besides their full time jobs to promote their book business because their passion is all about books and writing them.

Have a terrific day!  xx

R U Okay?

This morning, Michael asked me, “Are you okay?”

Well, no.  Not really.

I’m worried about Hurricane Irma, the category 5 hurricane that is predicted to hit Florida via Miami at a Category 4.  I feel bad for Miami, though my experience at South Beach with the dangerous, hostile drivers and even on the highway leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth and a distaste for the city.  I would never want to live there but that doesn’t mean I want to see the residents undergo devastation.

I am worried for my roof, not having the luxury of nearby residents to have had a new roof installed on my house.  My roof is old and I don’t know how much more battering it can take.  The thought of going through insurance doesn’t alleviate my fears or worries as that will be a nightmare, in itself, if we undergo damage.  I survived Hurricane Charlie and gave up waiting for a roofer, instead, going my own path and taking on a loan with a well known business to fix the roof on my own accord.  If I had waited- a name on the long line of rosters of people waiting for insurance to fix their roofs- I might still be waiting.

At least I have enough water though I’m sure I won’t have electricity.  Our home is old, built in the 1970’s, and due to this, if anyone so much as sneezes, we lose our electricity.  Hurricane force winds are sure to devastate and I’m not looking forward to sweating like a pig in 90 degree Florida weather.

I am hoping once it hits Central Florida, the hurricane will have the decency to lower it’s category to a 2 or even, God help us, a 1.  We don’t need another Charlie!  And I’d like to keep my roof intact as is… please.

So, I am filling all the pitchers I own with water and even my Keurig, just in case and I’m wishing the storm will turn East and fizzle out into the ocean from where it formed.  And I’m busy transferring our food to my dad’s empty refrigerator in his garage.  Since his apartment’s electricity is tied in to the local fire station, he hardly ever loses power and this is our saving grace.  I’m doling through our food, taking to the re fridge/freezer items which cost the most money:  fish and meat first, vegetables last, in the hopes of saving as much as possible from loss of electric/power.

My husband is cleaning out the gutters, bringing in our lovely statue/decorations, outside furniture and to save precious time, buying bags of potting soil to use as sandbags since it’s rumored people are waiting hours in line to get precious sandbags.  With Irma expected to hit Central Florida Sunday- Monday, we are running out of time and we must work with haste.

This has been an ordeal, finding empty shelves in local grocery stores like the picture below where there was no bread to be bought and collecting water bottles when stores were out.  We ended up being lucky three times over and have three cases of water as a result.

I hope everyone in the path of Hurricane Irma remains safe and I wish for you minimal damage to your beloved homes.

#hurricaneirma  #Irma

Coping in different ways

Tonight I learned that everyone grieves differently.  I probably already knew this but when faced with a short discussion with my dad I realized he and I deal with my mom’s death differently.

My husband and I have had lengthy conversations about what will happen if he passes away before me (hopefully this doesn’t happen).  He knows that I will be “getting rid of all his stuff” immediately, giving it away to charity or something.  I let him know this is not because I don’t love him or that I’m trying to get rid of him.  Oh no.  I love him so much.  But this is how I handle grief.

My mom passed away a little over two years ago though it seems like an eternity to me.  She understood me like no other ever has.  She was my best friend, my biggest fan and my strongest confidante.  She was my rock and I miss her dearly.   And how do I deal with her death?  By ignoring it.  Yup.  That is the only way I stay sane and that is the only way I can go on and survive living while she is up in heaven having fun without me.  I try not to think of her because thinking of her only brings tears and misery and I can’t go to work, on a daily basis, to help people if I am a mess myself.  So, this is my way to deal with the immense sadness of her loss in my life.  One day, hopefully, I will be able to think of her and not tear up but until then, this is the way I cope.  However; this is not the same for my dad~

My dad, who desperately needs to move into a first floor apartment because of his declining health, said to me today, that he can’t move into a smaller place because that would mean he would have to get rid of things and he can’t give up my mom’s stuff.  He said that and then he cried.  You see, my dad never cries because he doesn’t believe in a man crying.  While me, I feel differently.  I think if you have an emotion, let it out.  If you have to cry, do it.  It’s natural and it’s human and you can’t keep these things bottled up or they’ll just resurface again, and again.  He believes in prescriptions to pacify his inner turmoil while I believe prescriptions will only mask the inner pain- much like a band aid covering something temporarily.  In the end it peels off with time and the pain is still there.

But I understand where my dad is coming from and I told him this.  I am only trying to do what best for him but I get it.  In the end, it’s his decision the way he wants to live his life.  He chooses to live his life surrounded by objects my mom loved because it keeps her alive.  Storing these items away would only sadden him and the last thing I want to do is add more pain to his overflowing cup.

So, I guess the lesson is to love everyone while they are here.  Life is so short.  Appreciate those close to you for you never know what tomorrow might bring.  And, to try to understand when people do things differently than you would in the event of one’s passing.  Some create items to remind them of their loved ones, some need to have stuff owned by their loved ones around them while others, like me, can’t have the constant reminders surrounding them.  Everyone grieves differently but in the end, we are all trying to do the same thing:  survive this life to get to the other.

Chocolate? Think twice

Have you ever wanted to scream and shout?

Me?

Yes.

Quite frequently nowadays.

As a part-time caregiver on top of all my other duties:  full-time day job, part-time book business/marketer/promoter, wife and dog mom, there are days I just want to vent my frustration over the decisions my dad makes.  You see, he fell yesterday in his home and today he was supposed to see a Physical Therapist but he doesn’t want to.  He stated to me, by phone, that if this shortens his life, so be it.  That he will live a happier albeit shorter life, then.  Wow.  Talk about selfish.  But there’s nothing I can do about it because it’s his life, not mine and his decisions are his decisions…but do you have to tell me this 2 years after my mom passed away?  Granted, he’s said worse to me in the past two years- words even my husband remembers and wishes my dad didn’t speak.  No one should ever hear from a parent or relative that “all bets are off if I go to a nursing home.”  This on top of my additional duties at work is what I put up with on a week to week basis.

And my dad and I were never close~ but here I am, taking care of him because mom is not here anymore to do so.

Upon coming home, I think about writing him into my current book and I wonder what the Angel would say to the female protagonist when she talks about her dad.  I think about this for a while, discussing my latest idea with my friend Michael, throwing in that maybe she’s like me and gaining weight rapidly with all the stress that befell her, suddenly, all at once when my friend Michael says to me:

“No amount of chocolate will amend your dad’s situation.”

Startled, I stopped in my tracks and thought about what he said to me; then I nodded my head.  As usual, he’s right.

I am eating chocolate every day and steadily gaining weight when at one point I was actually eating healthier and losing weight.   With all the craziness and impossible demands I’m juggling now, topped off with the added stress of my dad’s failing health, I find myself dipping into the candy jar a lot more often than I should.  However; Michael’s right.  Eating chocolate will not help or change my dad’s situation but, eventually, it will change mine.  No amount of stress eating will help my dad and it won’t help me either.  I have to find another way to deal with the situation I have been handed.  What is the best solution for me?  I don’t know but I am willing to find out.

Take care my friends and thanks for reading.  Enjoy your day!

#Michael  #TKLawyer  #MyOwnThoughts  #TKLawyerThoughts

When you have too many books..

Hi Readers,
I was doing a Takeover this morning, on Facebook,when I realized I have a lot to talk about- LOL. I have four books out there now but what happens when I have more? A half-hour slot is hardly enough time to talk about the books, share my book trailers, show teasers, and share all my social media sites, much less play any games. I don’t know how authors do it! How do they compact all that information so it gets out to the public?
I usually prefer one hour Takeovers but now that doesn’t seem to be enough time either, especially with the threat of Facebook stopping your posts if you post too fast. This last part really sucks! So, with my pending 5th book being Re-Released in a month and my 6th book in the hands of my Publisher, I’m going to have to figure out a smarter way to share my books but maybe not all of the wonderful info. that goes with it. It’s going to be difficult but I will have to get a new system going the more books that are published because I do intend to keep writing and sharing my stories with the world.
Just an observation and a near future adjustment, as a result.
Enjoy your Day!
#Authorlife #TKLawyer     #ILoveGLA    #AngelsDontAlwaysNeedHalos  #MustReadPNR  #HotReads  #MustRead   #BookLook #ReadThis #Kindle #Nook #Sony #iPad #Book
created-by-a-fan-diana-w-pattinson

Life of an Author, 4/24/2017

Hi Readers,

So, I’m sharing my post on Facebook for my three Guardian League Books.  I’ve been sharing this post since Friday, posting in several groups per day, skipping the majority of Saturday, sharing on Sunday and then today when the inevitable happens-

FB Jail!  Duh-Dum!

You can hear the metal bars locking you in.

“You are restricted from posting into groups until 1:20pm tomorrow” it stated, or something like that.

Arrrgh!!!!!

Every author understands the life blood of their business is marketing and advertising. So, how is an author supposed to make it if they keep getting stuck in FB jail?  It makes me wonder about programs like Hootsuite- if they might be a better alternative.  If you’ve used it or used any other programs, I’d love to hear about your experiences.  I’ve heard pros and cons about Hootsuite.  When it comes to promoting though, sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and take a chance to find out if it will work for you in your particular circumstance or situation.  I have done this myself, paying for a Virtual book tour in the past with a big Paranormal Romance tour company used by some heavy-hitter, named authors.  Well, it might’ve worked for them but for me, the book tour bombed badly and I will never, ever, ever use them again.

So, here I am, on a beautiful Monday afternoon, clicking away on my keyboard writing my personal thoughts down until I am released from jail tomorrow after one pm.  Hope you are having a lovely day!

 

 

I broke down at my Doctor’s today

Hi Readers,

I went to visit a new Doctor today, a specialist, to get set up with their services and before I knew it, I was crying, literally balling with tears pouring out of my eyes to the point I was dry-heaving and struggling to breathe.  …And it all started when I mentioned my mom and how her passing has affected me and my health.

What’s interesting to me is it seems like my mom passed away more than three years ago but, actually, she only left my dad and me one year and five months ago.  Apparently I haven’t finished grieving for her.

My mom was my best friend, my Rock, and I can honestly say my Biggest Fan.  We used to joke that we were sisters in another life.  She always took me everywhere she went and we loved spending time together.  We had that type of relationship that we could sit next  to each other and not speak and be perfectly happy.  Every time I left her side, my heart was energized and I was uplifted.  It’s really strange and hard to explain the connection my mom and I had but no one else has ever affected me like this.

My mom would also look at me like no other ever has or ever will-with adoring eyes and the most beautiful smile, indicating to me that she thought I was the best thing in the world.  I can honestly say there wasn’t a day that went by that I wouldn’t hear from her that she loved me.  If she didn’t say it to me, face to face, then she’d call me and tell me or she’d leave little love notes for me telling me how she wanted to stay up and wait for me but “that the heart is willing but the flesh is weak”.  In fact, she’d verbally tell me how wonderful she thought I was several times a day, sometimes interspersing what a miracle I am, that she wanted me and how happy she is that she had me.

We were so open with each other that, at times, I’d hear from her that if she were a man and younger, she’d scoop me up and never let me go.  I loved her dearly.  The support she gave me, the willingness to listen to anything and I mean Anything I had to say with enthusiasm and just the knowledge of knowing she was always there for me and had my back were unparalleled traits that to this day that are extremely hard to find among people.

I know she made a difference in my life and I know I loved her in a way that I can’t define.  I’m not sure when I will be able to even say aloud “my mom” without bursting into tears but I hear it gets easier though you never completely heal.  My Doctor says the grief doesn’t go away but it changes.  Curiously, his mom passed away twelve years ago and he says it still affects him.  He keeps a beautiful picture of her by his bedside.  I too, have a picture of my mom with me in the bedroom and a few pictures of her (with family photos) spread throughout the house.

It is hard to stay strong but that is what society expects.  You only get two days for bereavement leave but it takes years upon years to actually come to terms with the loss, each one in his/her own individual way and in his/her own ideal time. I still await the day that I can speak about my mom, look at photos of her and think about her with happiness instead of tears.  That day can’t come soon enough.

*** I love and miss you mom.  xoxo  ***