We make a choice every day

Hi Readers,

Do you know that we make choices every day?  These choices not only affect our life and which way we go on our path in life but they also affect our perceptions and, eventually, our health and well-being.  My friend, Michael, explains it like a map of intersecting, interacting choices:  one leads to another and to another and depending on the specific choice made, it opens up other areas and leads on to other decisions to make.  It’s amazing and complex and a little hard to understand but everything we do has a reaction and all our decisions are interwoven into this very large, stringy ball of electrical twine, so to speak, when you see the whole picture.

All of our decisions affect others and these choices thread our life.  Knowing this and being aware of how short life is, does it really make sense to hold onto grudges or to be unhappy, in any way?

I ask this because this morning, a co-worker, who seems to think I harmed her in some way, couldn’t even spend a few seconds in the break room by me while I was getting my second cup of coffee.  This really surprised and perplexed me to the point of writing this blog.  I think sometimes people lose sight of the overall, big picture.  So, you happen to dislike me- okay- but do you need it to affect your 40 hour work week?  As we know, we spend a majority or our lives at our jobs so do we really need to let such trivial matters, perceptions and judgments cloud how we act and react?

I think it’s interesting how this co-worker thinks she’s done nothing wrong to change the nature of our relationship and blames it all on me when she was the one who actually attacked me, twice.  Despite this, I still like who she essentially is- a human being trying to get through this life, like the rest of us.  The fact that I don’t want to work with her has nothing to do with how I feel she is, as a person outside of work, and even though I prefer not to be in the same area as her in the office because I feel she is always judging me, ready to document everything I do for a negative purpose, I was able to spend the few seconds in the break room while she scrambled to get away.  How crazy.

Is it really worth it to get upset over trivial things when the greater cost could be your peace of mind and possibly, eventually, your health?  One thing leads to another and it can be a negative snowball effect heading in the wrong direction for you just because you are upset, and choose to remain upset, at a particular person.  You can’t change them but you can change how you perceive the “injustice” rendered to you and how you react to it.  We’ve heard this before, again and again, but how many of us actually implement this sound advice into our lives?  It’s hard to do, especially when you feel justified in your anger, but for your own peace of mind, it’s best to let it go and move on with a happier outlook.  Getting hung up on trivialities will not help you when the major life circumstances happen, because they will happen.  If you can’t let go of something silly and meaningless, how are you going to deal with real life barriers that are going to force you to change and adapt so you can move forward?

You choose how you live your life.

Let go of grudges, judgments and negativity and choose happiness, instead.  In the end, does it really matter?  Ask yourself this question and most of the time you will find yourself saying “no.”  If it doesn’t matter, Let It Go.  Navigating through life is struggle enough.  Do you really need to add to your burden?  Be happy and be well.  You deserve it!

Live like someone left gate open

 

You are Beautiful

This morning, I was at my Doctor’s office for two appointments.  As I finished one up and chatted with the receptionist, I waited a bit for my other to show.  Twenty-five minutes later I was ushered into the Specialist’s office and we had a good talk- upbeat, uplifting with plenty of advice.  She ushered me back to the receptionist desk who said I was cleared to go but then turned to the Specialist and complimented me aloud on my progress.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear the receptionist’s opinion of me.  She said to the specialist, “She’s so cute” stating how my first day in their office I was determined to make a difference and to do something about my situation.  She was proud of me.  I entered the discussion and became lively and animated in the middle of it.  I saw the receptionist turn to the specialist with a nod and a knowing smile.  It made me feel good that my few visits (there’s only been three) to the Doctor’s office made an impression on her.  Until this point I was unaware that she knew who I even was.

It’s funny how our few, brief contacts can make an impact we never knew existed.  Granted, I liked the receptionist and we always laughed together about little things but I didn’t realize she had a high regard for me until today.  For me, I always try to be nice to people who help “serve” me in some capacity.  Whether it be complimenting the person behind the counter for something lovely they are wearing or for how they wore their hair that day to the bigger task of striking up a conversation, I like making people feel better than when I first met them.  I try to do this as much as I can, barring my own mood and time constraints and I do this because I generally like people.  But today was a reminder, not only for me but for all of us, that we make an impact with every contact we make but might not realize it.

** With every person we come in contact with, we can choose to spread joy or unhappiness so why not take a step in making the Earth a happier place and choose to spread love, joy and peace instead of the latter.  **

Those in the service industry or helping professions are often disregarded or taken for granted.  It’s not often they are recognized or even rewarded for the essential service they do, sometimes barely making an income to support themselves or their family.  Take a minute today to make a greater impact and thank someone or compliment them.  Your one generous comment will snowball into several more, adding good cheer to strangers you may never meet.

Sometimes, all it takes is a few loving words to turn someone’s day around for the better.

Take care, my friends.

Thankful

 

Rise above the petty

Hi Readers,

 

You know that one person you have at work?  That one that can make your work life miserable?

If you’re a boss or a supervisor, I’m sure you know what I mean.  You try and try to get a good team together, one that works well and in harmony- one that fits neatly into a well-oiled, teambuilding, efficient superpower machine but you have that one cog that does not want to work with the others.  That one piece of the puzzle that doesn’t want to fit in with the group or the team, unless it’s on their own terms or within their own self-determined standards.  That one that would rather take notes about you, documenting every incident, keeping an eye on all your breaks and lunches to find a way to backstab you, the Supervisor, instead of fitting in and relishing in the extra freedoms the Supervisor provides to everyone in the unit.

That one misfit within the company that wants to blame everyone else for their misfortunes instead of seeing that they, themselves, and their own personality tics might be the cause and the reason for their treatment within the unit and their twisted perceptions of their own sad situation.   No one is untouchable or beyond reproach.  Every one of us has something we can adjust in our lives or within our personality so that we can flow within a group of individuals with strikingly different personalities.  No one is correct all the time or perfect but for some reason there is always that one among a group who feels that way.  Who thinks that they are truly amazing, wonderful, a humanitarian but with an ego the size of the Universe.  That one who does their job well but when you get down to the nitty gritty, when you actually see who this person truly is, you find that what they do is not because they truly care about the customers they work for but it’s all for the purpose of covering their own butt and to receive accolades from their customers.

Unfortunately, when you are the Supervisor, you have to deal with this person while avoiding their spiteful, malicious attacks on your character and trying to manage the others within your team, successfully.  It is really hard to do and their nasty attitude can bring you down, especially when you are particularly stressed or having an off day but the one thing you must understand and realize is that this person will never change because they have no insight and that this person is the way they are with everyone (at least they are consistent) so it is not because of you, specifically that they are so rotten.  They would act this way with anyone who is their supervisor.  So, as hard as it is to do sometimes, you have to remind yourself to not take it personally.  This is especially a hard lesson for me:   a sensitive, loving, kind and gentle person who doesn’t understand malicious, manipulative, calculating people.

To this day I still do not understand why someone would choose to put that much effort or energy into, basically, negative endeavors.

I choose to live my life not worrying about negative things that happened in the past, not harboring bitterness or grief, taking one day at a time and one step at a time being as genuine, honest and as fair as I can be with everyone that I come in contact with.  If something perceived as “bad” happens to me then there must be a reason for it or a lesson to learn in it and then I move on.  I will overcome anything that happens and I don’t have to document little grievances (petty things like a co-worker or the Supervisor going over a few minutes in lunches or breaks) over years of my life to save my job.  I don’t get it.  I don’t understand this logic or thinking.  And it’s a waste of energy and effort I can put forth elsewhere into a more positive outcome as in helping others along my path to become independent, self-sufficient and the best people they can be.

All I can come up with is, is that people like this are internally miserable and damaged somehow and they need help but don’t know it.  Sadly, we have to deal with them in our day to day work life.

So, in the meantime, if you have someone like this in your own life, try to keep your chin up and smile because you deserve the best.  Don’t let these petty little people get you down because it’s not worth your time or your energy to spend an extra second worrying about them and when their next sneak attack upon you will be.

In the end, they will never win despite whatever comes of their negative efforts.

** Continue to live your life with integrity, honesty and genuineness and you will have nothing to fear.  Truth and light will always be on your side.  You will always be the victor.  **

Take care my friends and live your life according to your own truth.

Be your own best self!

Woman holding a heart

My Weight Loss Journey – Entry #2

Hi Readers,

**  Life has it’s ups and downs.  But how we react to them is our choice.**

I have to say, I was disappointed when I walked into my office today wearing a shirt that was a smaller size than I have been in a long while and no one said anything.

I prepared myself for compliments and possibly questions of “have you lost weight?,” or “are you losing weight?” but not one person said anything and it was a bit surprising.  However, I am not trying to lose weight for the wow factor though at some point someone has to say something when I am walking around one hundred pounds lighter- you would think- but, I digress, the reason why I am losing weight is not to impress others, it’s so that I can be healthy- healthier than I have been in a very long while.

This is my goal and my vision.  I realize that having your best, optimum health is like having a solid bar of gold in your hands.  It is worth that much.  Because when you have your health, you can achieve and accomplish anything you set your mind to.  It opens doors that once were not possible.

This is what I look forward to.

The ability to be lighter on my feet, more flexible, more energetic, and the greater ability to challenge myself to do more.

I realize that you can also make more money when you are healthier because you have the ability to do more.  You have freedom.  You can live a better lifestyle and that brings more joy and happiness to not only you but all the lives you touch along the way.

~ I want this so badly. ~  I want to engage in conversations with no shame, no apologies, and to be my quirky, crazy, fun self without hiding behind layers of fat.

I know this will be a long journey for me but I have started it and I’m not stopping now.  So far I have lost fourteen pounds.  An extra three (thanks to my current sinus infection, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise when it came to my weight loss goal) since my last post but I have approximately ninety-three left to go till my goal weight.  Yes, I am that big.  But I will do it because among other things, I want to see if I can.  Right now, though, I am taking one day at a time and blessing every pound that leaves my body for they have served me well but I don’t need them anymore.

I am happy to note that even though I only lost fourteen pounds, it was enough to drop another shirt size so now I don’t have to shop in the Plus size section anymore, when it comes to tops, I can now sort through the Ladies section.  This is fantastic for me because it’s been a while since I have had the pleasure of choosing clothing from this section.  Unfortunately, my hips, stomach and rear have not followed suit (smile) and it remains in the Women’s Plus section, but that’s okay.  I’ll get there and I’m not in a hurry.  Whatever happens, happens, and it will occur at the best time for me.

My supportive friend Michael offered me advice when I recently disclosed to him my wants and worries about losing weight.  He said “Be relaxed and motivated.”  I know.  Sounds like an oxymoron, right?  However, what he meant was to not worry but stay motivated to change.  Makes sense and, as usual, is good advice, for anyone.

So, lovely readers, I will sign off here on another week and wish you well.  If you are embarking on a weight loss journey of your own or if my blogs have helped motivate you to join me, I’d love to hear from you.

Until next time, be well and safe.

Scale

Words of Wisdom from the Spiritual Guru

Hi Readers,

 

You may have heard me mention, in the past, about my friend Michael.  Michael is an amazing being and a rare gem.  I’m always at a loss for words to describe who he is and what he means to me.  He has been my champion when I’ve felt the whole world has let me down, my greatest comfort when my mom passed away over one year ago, and my support system through the daily struggles of Author life.

Over the years, he has shared with me such wise words of wisdom that it would be a shame to withhold the great pearls of truth he has entrusted to me.  So today, I’d like to share with you our discussion last night regarding fear and love.

It’s hard for me to do justice to his statements because I feel more what he says than I can put into words but I’ll try, so here goes…

~ We started chatting about the differences between love and fear. ~

He told me fear distances/separates people.  He reminded me to do things with love.  Then I questioned him regarding right and wrong.  If I blindly trust, how do I know if I’m doing things that are right or maybe wrong.  His answer:  Do all things with love as your true intention and you can never do wrong.  If love is the reason for your action then you have nothing to concern yourself with.

Fear is a barrier and often a means to control a person or a situation.  It is not love.  True love places no limits on a person.  Fear does.  Michael is a proponent for love.  He feels that fear incapacitates and boxes people up in little jail cells where they can never reach their potential.

Love opens your heart and your mind to all kinds of possibilities.  Love is freedom.  Love is genuine.  Love is truth.

Thank you Michael for your guidance.  I love you.  xoxo

And to all my wonderful readers out there, all over the world, may you be blessed and love, always.

$2,668.94 Later…

Do you know what’s interesting?  Most don’t realize how expensive it is to be a writer.

I just finished itemizing all of the costs associated for my writing business and that is the figure I came up with.  I have spent $2,668.94, in 2016, just to keep my writing career afloat.  This doesn’t include: the cost of monthly Internet, cell phone costs for keeping in touch with my readers and PA’s by phone, text, or internet and purchases I made before I started keeping receipts to itemize, later.  It also doesn’t include all the time, energy and sweat I invested in writing my books and keeping my business running smoothly and organized.  However, this grand figure does include: purchasing books, payments to companies for hosting me in their events, gathering reviews for me, purchasing countless amounts of swag, keeping up a blog/site to keep in contact with readers, and mailing items to readers that have won my contests and giveaways, all in the effort to promote/market my books, world-wide.

All I can say is WOW!  When you look at the grand total, it really makes you think.  A beginning writer, like me, is lucky to make anything close to this in the first couple of years… if ever.  It makes you consider whether you want to keep writing or not.  For this amount of money, I could’ve taken a relaxing vacation in Hawaii, but instead I was trying to promote/market and entertain my readers with the hopes of gaining new readers, in the long run.

Authors definitely do what they do for Love.  Like many readers, authors don’t have money either.  They don’t have the extra cash, readily available, to plug into their business hence the reason why most authors work somewhere else to gain the money to do what they love on a part-time basis, instead of not doing it at all.  Can you imagine if every author realized how expensive their writing career was and just dropped out?  Stopped writing.  Started using that cash to do something else fun, like travel.  What would we, readers, do to entertain ourselves if there were no more books left on the shelves to read?

Thankfully, authors continue to write despite the fact that there’s little financial reward involved.  Many unknown authors write great books and it’s a shame they remain in the shadows.  So the next time you think you can’t afford a book, take a second and think about the one who wrote it and all the time, energy and love they put into that book that they may never recover in financial gain.

Do something wonderful and unexpected today for an author(s) you Love and let them know what you think about their work and what is it about their books that you enjoy.  Give them kudos to keep them going.  Authors soak this up like water on a hot day but, sadly, praise is sporadic at times or rare.  By telling an author you care and to keep writing, you will have added joy to their day and meaning to their career.  So, what are you waiting for?  Spread some love and joy today and tell an Author to keep writing!

book-in-progress-picture

Tell someone today~

~*~*  Some days you just have to love… Michael ~*~*

I’m in a weird, kind of strange mood today. Probably because I’m under the weather, not feeling well and I need comfort. And when I think of comfort, I think of Michael~ my go-to, spiritual guru. He is an extra special, extremely rare, amazing beauty (inside and out). He is so humble but so comical too. And his hugs always make you feel special, protected, and loved.
It is times like this that I’m reminded about relationships and how extremely important it is to verbally acknowledge and appreciate those around you who mean the world to you. We get so caught up in doing things that we often forget to tell those closest to us how much they mean to us. I try often to do this with my hubby but sadly I fail, quite a lot. Take a minute today to tell someone how much they mean to you and how, without their relationship, you wouldn’t be the same. I have so many in my lives, including Michael, that if they weren’t with me, I’d be so unhappy for it.
**And for you, my fans and readers, thank you so much for your kind words, your loving generosity and most of all for your tireless support of me in my endeavors to become a well-known, loved Paranormal Romance Author. **  You all are the best!  Now go tell someone how much they mean to you and have a fabulous day! 

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